0 Tunicate Week: Sea Tulips.

Back to tunicates. Tunicates are sessile chordates that make everything else go "WTF?" with their sheer bizarre lifestyles. They start as tadpole-like larvae, find a place to settle down, then, umm, reabsorb their primitive spinal chords and brains. They also use cellulose to build the advertised "tunic." In fact, if they didn't eat things and have larvae, we'd be darn sure tunicates were plants.

Apparently linked to Calvinism, somehow?

...weird plants that prove that Hell is probably underwater. Yep.

Those strange, stalky things are sea tulips. Like all tunicates, sea tulips are effectively spineless vertebrates, siphoning in plankton through one hole and pushing water out through the other.  If you wish to tiptoe through the sea tulips, head to the waters around Australia and New Zealand. Sea tulips are actually among the friendlier things there, so please watch out for the other toxic fauna instead.

Sea tulips are the largest individual tunicates out there. They can get up to a meter (roughly a yard for us Americans) long. It's worth noting, however, that some free-swimming tunicates can form longer chains. For something without a true spinal cord, a meter is still pretty impressive.

Clearly the easiest underwater photograph ever. Source.

Sea tulips are symbiotic with another strange, sessile animal: the sea sponge. Many sponges, including the symbiotes present on these tunicates, have predator deterrents - bad taste, poison, and so on. Remember that both sponges and sea tulips lack teeth, so chemical defense is the best bet for both of them. These sponges also provide a lovely array of colors for your viewing pleasure.

Indeed, that seems to be the main purpose of these things: They look really neat. They also lend some credence to the ancient idea that everything on land has a counterpart somewhere in the ocean. If nothing else, sea tulips make for a neat, living bit of undersea scenery that should really be used more often. Even the fields of the sea have strange, filter-feeding flowers.

Detail: Tunicate Week: Sea Tulips.

0 Little Shop of Horrors: Queen Anne's Lace.

Did you know you might have wild carrots growing in your backyard? It's true. Most flower guides, however, will not mention that the plants are in fact carrots. If you've ever wondered what carrot flowers look like, wonder no more. Anyone who's taken a hike through dry fields or alongside roads  may well have seen this bloom around:

Source.

 This is Queen Anne's lace, AKA the wild carrot (Daucus carota). It originated in Europe, but has since become wild in the United States and Australia. It is relatively easy to identify by its many clusters of small, white flowers in a lacy, overturned umbrella. It's largely considered a weed, but more on that later.

The plant supposedly gets its name from one or both of two Queen Annes: one from Denmark, who was in turn the mother of Anne, Queen of Britain. Legend has it that the red flower in the center is from an accidental prick of the needle when Queen Anne was weaving said lace. Of course, its real purpose is to attract insects, but that's not nearly as fascinating, is it?

Although a close relative of the domestic carrot, the wild carrot can be considered either helpful or harmful. Mostly, it is a wild weed perfectly capable of consuming one's garden. However, certain plants such as tomatoes may actually grow better in the presence of Queen Anne's lace. Queen Anne's lace is also used for several medicinal purposes, including general skin issues (burns and the like) and, surprisingly, anything relating to menstruation. If carrots can cure that time of the month and/or be a contraceptive, I'm on board.

That said, it is not advised that you attempt to eat wild Queen Anne's lace for a number of reasons. The first is that it strongly resembles poison hemlock, so a misidentification could be lethal. The other is that wild carrot roots are not nearly as tasty as the carrots one finds in the supermarket. The root becomes woody after a very short amount of time, and even then, there isn't much there to eat. It'll save you

Detail: Little Shop of Horrors: Queen Anne's Lace.

0 Killer Cute: Koalas.

Is there anything cuter than a koala? No; koalas (Phascolarctos cinereus), which by the way are eucalyptus-munching Australian marsupials, look more like teddy bears than actual bears.  It's really hard to take a koala seriously. A koala could tell us that Yurlungr is awakening and the world will end as a result, but we'd bee too busy melting into baby talk to care. Awww, wookit his widdle head!



Oh, wait. Shoot, it's from Australia, the land where everything wants to disembowel you! Run for your life- KOALAS!

Actually, they aren't that bad. Koalas just have killer claws. These claws can dig into the bark of trees no problem; imagine, for a second, what they could do to your soft flesh. There are innumerable bacteria that will make those claw marks even nastier. Also, they can bite, but anything with a mouth can bite. Anything "stuffed animal" suddenly went out the window with those claws.

From scienceblog.com. Point made regardless.

Then there's the thing called a drop bear. Certain subspecies of koala have evolved into carnivorous little buggers that drop from their perches onto the unsuspecting Americans below. Rumor has it that wearing forks on your head or smearing Vegemite behind your ears can ward off drop bears, but don't hold your breath. Luckily, dropbears are about as real as jackalopes. You may take the forks out of your hair, now.

Here's the real deal: Koalas are slow, stupid, and usually asleep. 80% of their day is spent asleep. Their brains do not fit in their fuzzy little heads because they are so small. Anyone unfortunate enough to get hit by a koala who fell out of a tree was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. It's not like these things are out to get us.

While not as dramatic as the hippo, koalas can still be very nasty animals. Approach wild koalas with caution. They may look like teddy bears, but they have claws like real bears. You don't know where they've been. On the bright side, at least they cannot crush your head with their rears like our friend the wombat. Now that is lethal cute.

Detail: Killer Cute: Koalas.

0 Newsflash 2: Many Finding Nemo Species Endangered.

Now for something completely different but nonetheless heartbreaking: A lot of the species in  Finding Nemo are in danger of going extinct. Scientific American put out this little tidbit in 2011:

"One in every six species related to characters in the movie Finding Nemo is threatened by extinction, according to a new study out today. The authors examined the extinction risk of 1,568 species within 16 families of well-known marine animals represented in the 2003 Academy Award-winning animated film.

All species of marine turtles (“Squirt” and “Crush”) and more than half of all hammerhead sharks (“Anchor”), mackerel sharks (“Bruce” and “Chum”), and eagle rays (“Mr. Ray”) are threatened. Seahorses (“Sheldon”) are the most threatened group of bony fish in Finding Nemo, with two in five species at risk of extinction. Clownfish aren’t safe now, either, and they certainly weren’t in 2003 after the film’s release when local RotoRooter dispatch centers received calls from families whose kids flushed the fish after watching the movie. Charisma, in other words, is not enough. Despite a demonstrated need for conservation action, regulation of trade in endangered marine species is severely deficient for those with high economic value, like sharks."

- Source. 


So even though the film reeeeeaaaalllly pushed "kids, don't snag fish straight from the reef," a bunch of kids went and did it because NEMO! Yes, clownfish are adorable. No, one should not go all the way out to the reef to get one of a kid who has not kept anything beyond a goldfish. Aquariums are complex, difficult to maintain systems, with saltwater (as Nemo's would be) being even harder than fresh. Not cool.

It also really doesn't help that Australia has been hit hardest by global climate change. Much of the Great Barrier Reef is suffering from bleaching - not tossing bleach in there, but a strange whitening of the coral. It's pretty much the equivalent of chopping down an underwater rainforest.Yeah, that pretty reef in the movie won't be around much longer.

Remember, do your homework when buying exotic fish. Buy captive-bred only. The reef's suffering enough; harvesting is the last thing it needs.

Detail: Newsflash 2: Many Finding Nemo Species Endangered.

0 Creature Feature: Spiny Leaf Insect.

There is a rather bizarre game that I like to play in the shower at my local health club. For whatever reason, there are a strange number of small flies in the women's locker room - usually one or two to a stall. (I haven't said anything; they've been there for as long as I can remember, and I'd presume the various renovations they've done would have fixed something.) My goal, as soon as I hit the shower, is to go fly-hunting. I show no mercy; rather, the night is not complete without swatting one fly on the marble. After all, I'm only selecting out the flies who aren't fast or clever enough to camouflage themselves, right?



That said, some insects, like this spiny leaf insect (Extatosoma tiaratum), have stunning camouflage. It is so good at camouflage that it is also called "Macleay's Spectre." This insect is native to Australia and possibly New Guinea. It is related to walking sticks despite looking a fair amount like a mantis, and is not a true leaf insect at all.

One word can sum up the spiny leaf insect: Impressive. It's large, for a bug, able to stretch across a grown man's fingers. Both sexes will occasionally curl their long abdomens like scorpion tails when threatened, creating a sort of mantid-scorpion look. Again, that camouflage is a real treat; it even has thorns. 

There are a number of interesting things about spiny leaf insect reproduction. For example, the males can fly, and only the females have that godly camouflage. The females, after getting knocked up, flick their eggs out of their bodies and onto the forest floor. These eggs hatch better in cooler temperatures, - under 25 degrees Celsius. Also, the girls are parthenogenic- that is, they can produce other female progeny without a male.

Know what's awesome? These unique insects make excellent pets. They can be found in schools and laboratories as test animals, and are very good for the first-time insect fancier. They are vegetarians, and can feed on any number of plants. Find a care sheet on them if you're interested; I'm sure they're around. It would be hard to find a better pet or display insect, if that's up your unique alley. Look closely at that tree branch- it might be a bug.

Detail: Creature Feature: Spiny Leaf Insect.

0 Creature Feature: Major Mitchell's Cockatoo.

Who wants something more friendly than an entry on eating hearts? You know you do. Something bright and colorful makes winter nice. So, here is a healthy dose of pink:

From Wikipedia.

 Rounding off Valentine's Day is the peachy-pink Major Mitchell's Cockatoo (Lophochroa leadbeateri). It is also called the Leadbeater's Cockatoo, or, simply, "pink cockatoo." It is native to central and western Australia, which is a semi-arid climate.

The above picture has not been altered: Mitchell's cockatoos are really pink, red, white, and yellow. They stand out.  Pink cockatoos are widely considered the most beautiful of all cockatoo species, even by the guy who named them. Sir Major Thomas Mitchell - as in, the guy the bird was named after -  said that, "Few birds more enliven the monotonous hues of the Australian forest than this beautiful species whose pink-coloured wings and flowing crest might have embellished the air of a more voluptuous region". There's no region I can think of where a bright pink parrot wouldn't stand out.

Strangely, these giant pink birds are probably among the most primitive of all cockatoos. It shares a yodeling cry with the corella parrot, which is definitely not a cockatoo. The rounded wing shape is more or less unique to cockatoos, but this bird has the pink plumage and pale bill of other Australian parrots. It's a sort of transition cockatoo.



Anyone who has ever owned a non-Petco parrot will tell you that parrots can be very long-lived. One such parrot happens to be a Mitchell's Cockatoo named Cookie, who is now 79 years old. He is the only surviving member of the zoo's original set of animals from 1934. Unfortunately, Cookie has officially been taken off-display as of June 2012; it's a shame that I couldn't snap a good photo of him for this blog. If there was ever a candidate for a real phoenix, this parrot might be a good base.

No, these beautiful parrots do not make good pets. Parrots - big parrots, not cute little parakeets - are horribly high-maintenance birds, requiring tons of socialization and cleaning. Cockatoos are considered particularly poor pets. Major Mitchell's is not exception, but if you must get one, get a female. Make sure the bird was captive-bred; although not threatened, these birds are on the decline due to habitat fragmentation. Keep the pink cockatoos alive, mate!

Detail: Creature Feature: Major Mitchell's Cockatoo.

0 Creature Feature: Perentie.

Blah, porcupines. No matter how neat porcupines and horned gophers are, this blog needs more badassery. Enough about rodents. Let's just dive right into today's dose of badass, shall we?

Crikey! This fine Sheila is called a perentie (Varanus giganteus), and she's native to Australia. Perenties, being monitor lizards, are carnivorous and have astounding forked tongues. Like many monitors, they also have amazing skin patterning.

Crocodile Hunter jokes aside, perenties are the largest lizards in Australia. They can get over 2.5 meters (8 feet) from head to tail. Larger adults can even take down kangaroos, which, it merits reminding, can kick most predators to death and drown others. Perenties will eat virtually any kind of meat, however...including each other.

It looks so chill...then you see the claws.

Some of you are probably wondering why monitors are called "monitors," anyways. The answer lies in one particular behavior that many monitors, including the perentie, exhibit: they can "tripod," i.e. stand on their hind legs using their heavy tails like an extra foot. They do this to "monitor" their surroundings - just like we use a monitor to see what our computers are up to.

Despite their size, perenties would rather run than fight. They are notoriously shy. Perentie claws are meant to dig burrows in a flash. They can also climb trees very well. Excellent camouflage means that, all things considered, they are even hard to see while standing still. Guess that hardcore ecology down under has taught them a thing or two over the eons.

As with other types of monitors, yes, some people keep perenties as pets. They go for roughly 2,000 USD and you definitely need a license to keep one. There is still debate over whether perenties are venomous or not, but given the damage those teeth might do regardless, best leave handling them to people experienced with reptiles. Get a plushie instead.

Detail: Creature Feature: Perentie.